fears
I'm scared of having too much control over my life. like, I shouldn't be the only one in control of this. and maybe that fear is what's holding me back. like, I won't take big risks, out of a fear that they won't work out, or a fear that I'm not doing it right.
I'm scared of making choices that affect anyone else. even if they have a positive effect, as far as I can tell, I'm scared that it wasn't enough, or that I'm wrong, and they're just being polite.
I'm scared of being wrong about myself, and misjudging what I should do, or what path my life should take. It feels like there's a thousand different forces, pulling me in a thousand different directions, and I have no way of knowing which one I should follow.
and yet, do I want these fears to control my life?